Next StoryPrevious Story✕ 23.05.16

O u t

BANNER Kristina Bazan

I always grew up to believe of the importance to think out of the box, to question ourselves, to be open minded and encourage each and others to exploit the full potential of their abilities… Now it is sometimes harder to say than to actually do. When I was in school, I was constantly pressured by the idea of choosing one faculty for my university degree, some of my friends were having nervous attacks because their parents wanted them to study law, or economics when they still haven’t fully understood who they truly were and what they could actually contribute to this world.

If we could all make good use of our lives, now wouldn’t that mean to do and fight for what we love? I believe that our place in this world is valuable only if we work from passion, because no good has ever resulted from someone who’s been forced to do something he hates. We all have a lesson to teach and we all have a lesson to learn. You could stumble upon a homeless man on the street and he could teach you the most valuable life lesson you’ll ever learn, such as you can talk with a business man from wall street and he’ll open your eyes on hundreds of other facts, and perspectives. We are all here to live our stories and share them with one another, to help, uplift, empower and inspire each other.

With this being said, brining it back to kinder garden, I remember how my friends and I couldn’t pick just one toy to play with, or how we wanted to play the role game 5 times just to be able to be each character at least once. In high school that’s how I felt when ticking, again, these terrifying university faculty boxes. They were scaring me to death… First of all, why would I want to put myself, or my life in a box? What if I wanted to tick all of them and learn everything that’s to be learned? So instead, I ticked none and went on my own life quest…

Growing up, my parents would look at me and wonder how the hell did I end up being such a big creative ball. Both my parents are super smart, rational people, my mom works in finances and my dad in IT. Needless to say, I do not come from money and everything we had, we had to earn it big times. So all of a sudden they have this little blonde thing running around in the living room, painting, dancing, singing, wrapping herself around in the living room’s curtains… and having a word to say on everything. They would dream, like any good parent would, that I’d make a good living, have stability and of course be happy, because money + stable job usually means happiness and comfort in today’s society. But, unfortunately not for me… Because for me, it meant, missed opportunities, and spending years of my life “trapped” in a pretty box, a box where I couldn’t get out of and I couldn’t use my potential in it’s widest range.

When I opened Kayture, it was just as if I suddenly had wings. It was my voice and all of a sudden my life mattered. Why? Because I could share it, I could speak about things that inspired me, share my journey, talk about what I find beautiful, open conversations with people around the world, invite them on an introspection and actually make an impact. However, I never took my blog as the finality of what I wanted to do. Never did I think that I wanted to be a “blogger”, and put myself in that box. To me having a blog was the most free-ing thing I could do, it was my diary to talk about things I loved and do things I loved while sharing the journey. And yet all of a sudden, I felt like I was trapped. I was a blogger and any attempt to do something different, to try something new resumed in comments such as “stick to what you’re good at… a.k.a being a fashion blogger”.

As the years went by, I’ve had the opportunity to create, try and do so many different things thanks to the opportunities the blog brought me. It was my canvas for expression. And yet, I was growing up as a human being, and new interest came in. I became more interested in sociology, psychology and took a lot of time to study it on the side, just for my personal interest. There’s nothing that fascinated me more than being able to understand human’s contradictions. Because we do contradict ourselves a lot, don’t we? Since the beginning of society, we fight against each other… often for quite egocentric reasons. Wars, conflicts, such cruelty has been aroused throughout history because of our human nature and our fear of what’s unknown, our will to name everything, to put everything in boxes, our fear of the abstract, our pride and our ego… Social pressure lead to conformism and to so many talents and potentials left silent.

To me, life is kind of like a video game… Take Zelda for example. You walk around, your abilities grow, suddenly you have new tools, new powers and you become a fuller, bigger character using the full percentage of your capacities. Why should we restrict ourselves to using only half of our talent’s ressources when we can do and achieve so much more? There is always room for improvement, yes, you can’t be great at everything, no (and no only because there’s physically not enough time to, but if there’s the will, I think one can learn a LOT) it’s important to take things step by step, indeed. But fact is, throughout life, throughout it’s different phases (and levels so to say) you’ll be evolving, such as your capacities. Zelda can’t keep playing with his little rocks all his life…

You guys might know where I am going… Of course, I am bringing this conversation up because I recently launched my music and needless to say it came with many critics. And I am so happy and open to take in criticism but what makes me mad and especially sad, is reading comments from people who assume that because I have some success with my blog, I shouldn’t be pursuing something that I am deeply passionate about, something that makes me so truly happy. Seing these comments scares me for the girl, or the boy who will read these comments from his little hometown like I could have had 5 years ago, and by fear of getting such hate one day, not do something they deeply love.

I wanted to tell you guys, that nothing will stop me from fighting for my passion, for creating melodies, for writing lyrics… It is my challenge also to proof that when there’s the will there’s the possibility. And I am not claiming anything, I know that the respect and the credibility is to be earned. But I am profoundly ready for it… Otherwise, I wouldn’t even embark on that kind of journey. It is more of a risk that could hurt my overall career. I am doing it, because I truly believe in it. Music has helped me go through so much in my life and I know that it does to so many others as well, that’s what makes it so special and one of the world’s most beautiful art forms. To me, being a performer, an artist means being able to use all these different colors such as fashion, videos, writing, telling stories, photography, the sharing process, the interaction, the make-up, to paint on one canvas, and create beautiful songs. And my blog, I will always keep it. Because it is my diary, from me to you, where I’ll always be honest.

Be kind to one another, and don’t let anything stop you from doing what you truly love.

You can listen to OUT on Itunes and Spotify ♥

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