Next StoryPrevious Story✕ 15.08.15

Music to heal the soul

Cibelle x Kristina _ BlackBlazerandBra_16

Let’s talk about music shall we? More and more of you guys come up to me in the streets, twitt me, leave comments and ask me tons of questions regarding music and why it is so important to me and what is the actual story behind it. So let me take you exactly 10 years back from now when I was just 11 years old, living in a tiny little village in Switzerland. I went to a public school in Begnins, about an hour from Geneva, where there’s not much around other than one bus station and wine yards. Childhood has been a long and easy river. Both of my parents were working a lot and I used to spend a lot of time by myself locked up in my tiny little bedroom getting lost in my thoughts. I am an only child and being by myself was not only a habit, it was also a treat. I’d spend hours imagining stories, creating imaginary worlds and just trying to do anything out of my bare hands. I’d eventually become sort of an introverted extravert. If that even makes sense. I’d feel fine in social situations, but my joy was when lights were off at night, my parents were sleeping and I was sitting by my desk drawing comic books under my desk’s one single light bulb until 3 in the morning.

I became so into the whole world of comic books that I also started watching all these amazing cartoons and tv shows where the characters would go on missions, travel the world, live dangerously, be wild and free. They’d know how to dance, sing, fight… Everything. Like real rock stars. At the age of 12 I’d say, it came to me. I wanted to create a girls band with my two best friends. We wrote a song all together. Just like the Spice Girls. It talked about some sort of Galaxy and how we were drowning in it. Very intense. Flashback now to my childhood back in the days when I used to be around 4, living in Minks, Belarus. My parents would take me to all these singing classes as I was always begging them to let me be on stage or wear crazy costumes and sing in the living room. Eventually I convinced them and so when we moved to Switzerland, I got into a ballet school and started acting with the local drama troupe. During these moments, that’s when I really felt like I could fully be myself and let go of my inner shyness. All these things I imagined while being alone unraveled when I was performing.

I truly believed that when you are a creative soul, and especially if you’re a bit of an introvert (such as I sort of am… I mean, it’s Friday night and I am in my appartement writing and writing and writing), anything becomes a canvas, and anything can be art. There are millions of ways to express yourself, your emotions, your ideas. It so comes that I love doing it not only thorough fashion, but also through words, through painting, through drawing, through endless conversations with friends and above all, through music. Ever since this one song I had written when I was 12, I asked my dad to buy me a keyboard and I taught my self how to play the basic chords in order to start composing and songwriting. My neighbors didn’t understand what was going on all of a sudden as each day became a concert of me yelling and screaming from the top of my lungs song lyrics I’d come up with.

Eventually, my will to become a singer started to become really prominent. However, something kept shutting it down. I would admit it was fear, or a lack of confidence. I honestly felt too vulnerable. It wasn’t like a bad coat you’d wear one day and you can blame it on the designer for selling such a poorly tailored piece, it’s just you, your voice, your melody and your lyrics. You’re showing people your soul. I wasn’t ready to share that with anyone. It was my treasure. My secret. No matter what happened in my life, music would become my security and the only thing that healed me. I’ve had quite a difficult high school experience and if there’s one thing that helped me hold my head up high, is walking through the cafeteria with my headphones on while listening to voice memos I’ve recorded the night before with words that really mattered to me. Only I knew of them.

I’d however join at a certain point a music school and a band. But opportunities in Switzerland to pursue a music career are limited. So you know the story. I then created a blog and started travelling quite a lot. But one day, something in me rang. It was like an alarm clock. I don’t even know how to describe it. It was my 20th anniversary. I felt like I had just grown into a woman. I was filled with a confidence that I had never really felt before. I was proud. Proud of all the achievements and of what my life suddenly turned out to be. I was happy, fighting for my dreams  and always reminding myself to remember that life is too short to wait for things to happen, you have to make them happen. I sat in front of my piano, put my mic on, and recorded 3 demos on spot of the top 3 songs I’ve written and sent them to my agent here in L.A. And from then on, I’ve been on a crazy ride of meetings with record labels, producers, song writers, agencies… Music industry is so insane. It’s so different from fashion. Here on my blog, I can create the whole content by myself so quickly. Music takes time. And a huge team. As much as I compose and write my songs, I can hardly produce my own tracks and thus, finding someone who understands your vision is a whole quest. But so far, it’s been the most incredible adventure.

I am ready to take all the time in the world to make my music perfect. Because the day that you guys will hear what I’ve been doing for all these years, I want you to be able to see me like you’ve never seen me before. I want you to see my soul for the very first time. Stripped down, genuine and honest. There’s so much I wish to tell you that words can’t suffise. Only music can truly transport these emotions, and when the day comes, I believe it’ll be very special. And for that, we have to be patient. At least, I know I have to.

A lot of people have been asking me what my music sounds like and who are my inspirations. Well I thought about sharing with you some of my favorite songs so that you can add some of them to your own playlist and also have a better understanding of what kind of music I am into. I truly listen to everything. And when I say everything it goes from Mozart, to Crystal Castles to Taylor Swift and Kendrick Lamar. Everything. A good song is a good song and as long as it speaks to me, as long as it touches something in me, I don’t really care if it’s country, pop or hip hop. One of my all time favorite songs has always been “Comptine D’un Autre” été by Yann Tiersen from the movie Amélie Poulain. I could never understand if it made me feel happy or sad… However, it always takes me on this long, dreamy, fluid balade and makes me wonder. Each time I listen to it, I hear something new, I feel something new. And it’s truly one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard.

So without any further due, you can access my KaytureMusic Spotify playlist especially created for you by clicking on this link! It goes from all the different ranges and I highly recommend listening to in in the right order as it has been organized and arranged for you to enjoy a full experience starting from up beat tempo songs, to sexier, to sweeter, to slower and fading away with… well I think you’ll guess which song I’ve picked as last. I hope you’ll be able to discover new artists, songs you’ve never heard before and just enjoy this beautiful musical journey. Please share with me your favorites! I am SO curious to hear which ones you’ll love.

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Photography by Cibelle Levi

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